Here are other ways Men and Women are different:
- Women SOMETIMES admit mistakes, men in fact haven't admitted to a mistake since General Custer.
- As women, when single, we dress up to go to the mailbox, we shave our legs, armpits and nether region on a fairly regular basis even when we don't want to, and most of our decisions about our underwear are determined by the "just in case" factor. As men you dress up for weddings & funerals, your personal hygiene decisons are based on whether or not you can smell your own ass and you may or may not wear underwear depending on whether you've done the laundry.
- Most men know about politics, have some level of understanding and enjoy talking about them. Women, in general, like and know about the Kennedy's.
- There is only one man who really looks good with a mustache, his name is Tom Selleck. There are NO women who look good with mustaches.
- With the exception of Roller Derby chicks women in general do not give each other nicknames that are hardcore or cool in anyway. They do however, give their men nicknames but they are rarely nicknames that the man particularly likes. For instance: snookums, sweetie, lover lips, honey, peanut and babe. Men on the other hand will enter a bar, go to a buddies house to watch sports or have an epic Wendover trip and come back with names like Hammer, Lizard, chicken shit, shit head, shit for brains, piss pants... you get the idea. Sometimes these nicknames stick, sometimes they do not. This usually depends on how "epic" the event was that caused the man to get his nickname in the first place.
- I have noticed that men in general do not call a relationship a "relationship" if it isn't one that they are currently in and committed to. Said relationship is usually referred to "that one time I was doing that chick Crystal". Men rarely use the word dating either. I'm not sure why this is but I think it may have something to do with saying "nah dude I can't go have a beer with you, I'm hanging out with that chick Crystal I've been boning". Women on the other hand, they want to call every intimate encounter they are in with a man a "relationship", they will be dating said man after the first "hang out", and have a burning desire to define the relationship immediately. And by immediately I mean usually within the first ten minutes of a marathon text session where they feel they have truly connected to the one his buddies call "Hammer". The best advice I feel I ever give any of my female friends (and the male ones too if they are complete twats) is NEVER under any circumstance tell your lover that "we need to talk and define our relationship". This will make "Hammer" literally want to bang his head up against the nearest hard surface and/or jump from the moving car. Nobody likes the DTR, nobody.
- Speaking of relationships, when they are over here is how it goes: women will cry, pour their heart out, think, over think, cry, pour their heart out some more, try to find out why, seek closure, cry some more, call ALL of their friends and analyze the events leading up to the break-up, cry, re-hash the same conversation with her girlfriends AGAIN, cry some more, if you are a drinking gal you will drink, then you will really cry and probably puke, drunk text, drunk call, drunk FB, cry while doing all of these things and then come to a point where you write a poem, letter or journal entry titled "All Men Are Assholes" and then go find yourself some other dude and move on. Men, men on the other hand will wait anywhere between 3 to 6 months after the break up and at 3 a.m. they will call or text the woman, most likely after drinking, and say "you are a total bitch and you ruined my life. I hate you and all that you represent because women are evil and live to suck the life out of men every chance they get. You are a slutbag whore and I hope that the next poor sucker that gets stuck with you leaves your sorry ass for someone with bigger boobs that is way hotter. And by the way, do you want to come over and have sex with me, I totally miss boning you." This phone call/text is what I like to refer to as the "love/hate/horny baby just one more time because I miss you" drunken mess. I'm going to give this a 90 % chance of happening. Sometimes you are over him, sometimes you are not but always it is amusing.
- And last but certainly not least sex. I am only going to touch on this briefly because I do not have time to cover the entire difference. But I'll sum it up. Most women prefer 30-45 minutes of foreplay, then they want you to make love to them and be done. Some women do want to "talk" afterward but this is not true of all women. Men usually want 30-45 seconds of foreplay and I'm pretty sure they consider the ride home from "hanging out" foreplay if they touched you in any way. If you are a considerate man you will give your lady the idea that this is going to be an "epic" love making session. But most likely you are going to "bone" her for about 30 minutes, make sure both parties have an orgasm and then roll over and go to bed. The considerate part of you may or may not get her a towel. The bottom line here is that women attach emotion to sex, men attach "oh my god that feels so good" to sex. This is all OK if both parties understand the key differences in the species. I will say though if you do come to some level of understanding things only get better.
